Valuing SILENCE
/I’ve been pining for SILENCE.
It’s been tugging at my heart and gnawing at my bones the last six months or so.
It’s been waking me up in the morning. The quiet two hours I take each predawn just isn’t enough. There is more needed.
It’s in the air I breathe as I switch off the decorative bedside lamp and lay my head gently down, on my pillow, and sink into the quiet sounds of my home before I descend into asleep.
In truth, it's been following me around as long as I can remember.
That pull to silently listen to the world.
I remember as a 10 year old child skipping out our backdoor entering the green grassy expanse, and laying down underneath the big oak tree, spread eagle. Feeling the soft beauty of green beneath my bare arms, legs and feet. Putting my hands over my ears for a moment.
And then watching the cumulus clouds roll across the sky.
Allowing my heart, mind, and senses wander as I became still and silent.
Swimming in the simple sounds of bird song.
Breezes moving branches.
Gray squirrels chittering.
And in the near distance my Mother in the kitchen, moving around, readying the next meal.
I set an intention, on New Year's Day 2020
as I was sitting in the many windowed
wooden and glass sanctuary
at Breitenbush.
Surrounded by the lush old growth forest
greenery delightfully dancing
in the wind
the singing sounds of river
the wind chiming through those majestic trees
--- to be quiet one day a month.
And what the heck do I mean by SILENCE?
Silence meaning; no interactions, no conversations—-with other humans for a day.
I scheduled my first day on Saturday, February 1st— due to some unexpected travel and loss, the end of January.
My partner respectfully left the house early.
Offering me the space.
Thank you.
It’s hard to find words to describe what happened during that day.
But here goes----
My inner life expanded like it was outside in and inside out.
There was an energy of delight. Wonder. Ease. Peace.
An interconnectedness.
So Delicious. So Rich.
And So Beautiful. Not easy always and beauty isn’t, is it?
Silence like this is an offering to the sacred. In a way.
A non-technology, non-contact, non-traditionally productive day.
I recently mentioned to a friend as we were walking together, “simply being” for a day, a week, or a month or whenever, for me, is an act of service.
A rebellion of sorts to the crazy world. A non-doing.
An offering.
I moved like a whisper, like the wind on it’s quietest day. Even washing a dish with no one else to hear it sounds different.
I could hear my heartbeat my chest rise and fall. I could feel my feet on the floor, really feel them. Life felt in slow motion.
And how to describe the stillness, implicit in the quiet, that occurs even when my body is moving?
Somehow the silent outer voices give rise to an inner spaciousness that is a whispering cacophony of honoring something on the far side of language.
Beyond human words.
There is mystery, and magic, and spirit that entered the day.
I sense deep in my belly......that the SILENCE has something to pass through me.
What I don’t know is how, or when or what wants to arrive. To be birthed.
So I commit to the time.
To the silence.
One day a month.
For a year.
I welcome it like the friend it is.
And what I learn I will pass on through the gnarled juniper and majestic ponderosa trees that are my sweet neighbors.
And through the light breeze as it touches my cheek, or whisper it, into the hollow spot, at the base of the neck of the sweet infant I get to snuggle.
And sprinkle it here and there.
Speaking in hushed tones—- into all the spaces with too much noise.
Too much information.
Too much busyness.
Too much distraction.
And on and on we go...
What about quiet? What about contemplation? And stillness? What about it is a form of activism? Acting for the simple. Acting for the sacred.
What about you? How do you embrace or not silence? What could possibly be the gift…
Blessings to you,
Carol
And I do have some openings for new clients or clients who want to reconnect. Call, email. SOS.
And HERE is my latest clarification on equitable economics.
And I am developing a Soulology Mentoring Program and updating my website soon. I’ll keep you posted. I am super excited. It feels like the next step.
