Who Is Driving the Bus?

There is a lot UP in the world right now. The Great Turning or The Great Unraveling. 

I prefer to point my heart, my head, and my actions towards it being a Turning. I function better that way!

And in the last few months I have been unraveling, a bit, in my own life. The loss of my beloved 94 year old mother has brought a few things to the surface for me to reweave.

To Turn towards.

On top of that loss. We have the coronavirus, and elections, and too warm February’s, and trees being marked to kill, and the small daily pile ups. 

I have been practicing for decades, to welcome what comes. To be with my feelings, and thoughts, and sensations, with kindness. To be hospitable and attentive, especially with discomfort.  

So unsettledness...
Which has not been my middle name, has arrived with a flourish. 
A throbbing in the center of my chest. 
A clutch in my stomach. 
A jumpiness.
Tears well, and spill.
Many sleepless nights.
And fear draws closer to the surface. 
Rises up in the inky black middle of the night. 
Slinks in as the day ends
When my resilience has waned.

So I ask myself.

A lot.
These days.

Who's driving the bus? 


Because welcoming and letting something drive are two very different things. 

I know that fear is not a good driver. 
Nor unsettledness. 
Nor worry. 

Asking myself; Who’s driving the bus?, has become a beautiful practice. 

When I notice unsettledness, or fear, or worry running the show. I pause.  I remind myself. Everything is welcome. But not everything can drive. 

I take a moment or two to imagine the bus. It’s a school bus. Not the biggest one. Large enough.

And I see my wisest self in the driver's seat. 

She is wearing her favorite sassy red cotton dress, and her tall brown boots that tie up the front of her calves.

She is smiling.

Her smile is chameleon like.

Sometimes it’s serene. 

Sometimes fierce and compassionate. 

And other times filled with laughter. 

She feels relaxed, alert, and attentive. 

She is wearing a pin that says, Creating A World that Works for All, that she got from Shariff Abdullah. 

She is the most skilled and compassionate driver. 

She’s got this. 

She swivels her neck to see who is riding with her. One passenger so jumpy she is all but falling out of her seat, another curled in a ball, head down. Other’s chatting. Or distracted. 

She acknowledges them all, silently, kindly, and turns back to face the road. 

She’s got this.

The next time you notice your bus running amok, check and see who is driving?

If it’s not the part of you that is best suited, simply offer them a seat on the bus. You don’t have to kick them off. 

Then pause.  Imagine, feel, and sense into that wisest part of you.  Have them sit in the drivers seat! Take a breath. Feel your feet. Present. Eyes forward.  

And watch what happens.

It works every time I remember to do it. A little magic. 

Need some help with this. Email me for a free first session.

Want to read a short article I wrote a few years ago on listening, attention and Devotion?

Let me know how it goes.
You've got this.
Hugs,
Carol

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